This internet poll is breaking men's brains!

And this is what we get when male fitness standards clash with female preferences.

For context (if you’re a sane person and not extremely online), researcher William Costello recently did a simple, anonymous Twitter poll. Men and women were invited to rate pictures of British singer Olly Murs when he was huskier vs. when he really hit his gym goals and became legitimately shredded.

These are the pictures we were presented with:

These were the poll results:

I saw William’s poll, promptly voted for the before picture as most women who participated did, and forgot about it.

And then shit hit the fan:

A bunch of guys got furious that women did not appreciate Olly’s gains. And I mean, really, really furious. From accusations of “lying” to “these women are just fat insecure bitches who can’t stand a perfect physique,” to “women don’t get it and don’t know what they ACTUALLY want.”

Here are a few examples of what I mean:

One of my favorites is the guy who is claiming that a woman would need to compete for attention with a shredded guy and “women don’t like competition”:

This guy, on the other hand, is close to getting it, but we’ll get back to that in a minute:

In order to unpack all of this, I’d like to first state for the record, with a hand over my heart, that there is nothing wrong with getting shredded and attaining your goals! If you’re doing it in a healthy and safe way, good for you, king!

I would also like to state for the record that Olly Murs is hot. He’s hot in the before picture, he’s hot in the after picture, and we will not tolerate any Olly Murs hate or slander here.

Now that it’s out of the way, let’s talk about what’s actually going on here:

The truth is that studies have consistently shown that there is a discrepancy between what men THINK women find attractive and what women ACTUALLY find attractive.

Here’s a good study from a few decades ago that explains this:

While we’re no longer buying print magazines en masse, social media is breaking our brains in exactly the same way today, and men are not immune:

Meanwhile, women get berated when we point out our actual majority preferences in a male physique.

I should add that online polling can easily be rigged. I’ve seen concerns such as, “well, fat guys just pretended to be women and rigged that poll to feel better about their loser fatty lives!”

But as a woman who actually voted in the poll, I’ve since been talking to OTHER women who voted in the poll or who saw the results and agreed with the premise, and I would like to explain why I think the poll is reflecting reality for the majority of women:

We were asked which picture looked better. So let’s look at them again. I am providing my own extremely deep thoughts (lol) as I unpacked my own vote:

Women are less visually stimulated than men, but we are highly stimulated by CONTEXT in which sexy images are presented to us - here’s a study on this phenomenon:

Here’s what I contextualize from the image of Olly on the left:

This is a big, handsome man. He’s happy and relaxed. He’s husky and strong. I can see him slapping my ass in the kitchen and enjoying my cooking. I can see him building a treehouse or killing a large predator. He looks like a good cuddler. He looks like a protector.

This is INSANELY attractive when compared with the image on the right. The lighting and angle could stand some work, as others have noticed, but also Olly simply looks too angular all of a sudden.

He also looks more locked in - like a guy who probably won’t pay much attention to me as he’s working to keep up his gains and impress his boys. As a woman, I immediately have questions about his diet and whether or not we can have happy times in the kitchen (let’s face it, probably not). He does not look strong and soft to me here, he looks like he may struggle with a supply chain collapse, and we probably won’t cuddle all that much. He does not appear relaxed.

Above, I cited a man expressing incredulity that a woman would immediately imagine the life she would lead with a man when asked to rate his attractiveness. BUT THIS IS HOW THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN WORK.

We have very active imaginations. It’s why we’ve made literary smut into a best-selling business and why it actually improves our sex lives. Men are hornier than us, but we are freakier and more creative.

I’m not saying that ALL women are like this, but I am speaking for the majority.

All of this immediately becomes a problem when men who don’t give much thought to the female imagination and female desire - because they are not remotely socialized to do so - are suddenly presented with the truth in an online poll and begin to freak out about it.

One of my favorite brainrot moments to come out of all this are men screaming that, ''The women who voted for the left picture are ugly fat bitches who have simply never been with a shredded guy because they are not good enough!”

Bb, please. I’ve bagged my share of very shredded guys. They were good dudes on the whole - except for the jerk who lived a double life, read more about him here - but the shred factor wasn’t what attracted me in the first place. It was more like, “Oh, he has goals that he is committed to, that’s attractive, AND he’s funny and has a personality, this is so hot.”

Also, while I appreciate a commitment to the gym in any man, as I am committed to the gym myself, but commitment is a spectrum. If a guy is 100% dedicated to the gym, if he is a complete fanatic about it, he may be compensating for something and/or may not have that much time to pay attention to me (I keep hammering on about this, but yes, most women love attention). It’s a simple calculation that a lot of women who are not at the gym for two hours a day will make.

For any men wondering about my own proportions, I actually got taped last night, and my current measurements stand at a 42 in bust, 33 in waist, and 45 in hip. I am not a small girl by any stretch of the imagination, but I am tall and proportional with a good hip-to-waist ratio. I stay strong and fit. I don’t geek out over my body fat percentage, I think I’m meant to be a curvy menace to society and I enjoy it tremendously, and this allows me to have a healthy relationship with my own body.

I don’t feel intimidated by a shredded man, or a shredded Olly Murs in particular, I’m just not as hot and bothered by extreme muscle definition. I’m hot and bothered by huskiness, that primal aesthetic that lights up the part of my brain which desires a protector. Equally, I am hot and bothered by the lean guys who look like they can kill if necessary. I barely register abs. Some women will disagree with me, and that’s fine too! Happy people seek to be with those whose vibe and lifestyle match their own.

Seeing men yell about all of this has been amusing, but also pretty saddening.

Remember, the Glorious Normie Restoration will not succeed if we don’t talk to each other and strive to understand one another. If men prefer to cater to the male gaze (I would argue that Olly’s second picture absolutely does that), that’s totally fine, but it won’t change how most women feel.

So again, I must ask single, heterosexual men in particular to close their social media apps and simply talk to more women. Ask women questions about what they like and why. It will take you far in life!

If you’re shredded and dismayed by the poll results, don’t be! Women will like you just fine, as long as you show them attention and care. In fact, many shredded dudes in the comments have pointed out how attractive they’ve become to women, which is great. But it’s not just the muscles, boys, it’s the fact that you’ve gained confidence and women want to touch you now and be with you.

Confidence and good mental and physical health work miracles. It’s simple. It’s what matters.

As always, thank you for being here. Tell your friends about me! ❤️