“He preys on the weak and he preys on the vulnerable,” was how Fairfax County Police Chief Kevin Davis characterized the actions of accused local serial killer Anthony Robinson.
The bodies of four women have been recovered so far, and it’s possible that Robinson has killed others in the DC area and beyond. We’ve been told that he met his victims through online dating.
I’ve written a bit on online dating before, and considering the fear that Robinson’s evil actions have understandably caused, I’d like to point out some things you may find helpful:
Serial killers are statistically rare
They are monsters, so they capture the public imagination. The news loves a serial killer story — precisely because it’s bound to enthrall the public.
However, serial homicide itself appears to be in decline and we have many theories as to why.
We may, however, be solving *less* serial homicides today
Even as serial homicide declines, the dudes (they’re almost always dudes) who *are* committing these crimes may be getting away with them more often than we think.
One issue may be that they’re watching the same shows as we are, and learning from past killers’ mistakes.
But there is something particularly chilling about the social isolation hypothesis. In a more online culture, more people are lonely (when I consider the state of the people who regularly troll me on Twitter, I can’t help but agree), and loneliness makes them vulnerable.
Considering how we are more mobile as a society, you can see how easy it is for a predator to cross county and state lines as he kills vulnerable people, and it’s not like every law enforcement team is going to connect the dots immediately, or at all.
It’s nobody’s “fault” that they were murdered
This interview with the daughter of one of the Robinson’s victims is heartbreaking — and it also gives us some clues as to how Robinson operated.
Amanda May did not believe she was in any danger when she met Robinson in a hotel. She didn’t think that anything was off. She was clearly comfortable. She didn’t want her daughter knowing about whom she was seeing — most likely because it was just going to be a bit of fun for her.
It’s likely that Robinson charmed Amanda. If you look at his mugshot, you see a handsome man who appears bummed that he was just caught:
When talk of serial killers starts up, everyone immediately turns into a prude, but the truth is — a lot of people use dating sites and apps for casual fun, and if that’s a bad thing, you might as well put me in front of the firing squad.
The culture of blame is precisely why people like Robinson can get away with it. After all, “maybe nobody will miss her” or “maybe people will assume that she hung out with the wrong crowd and got what was coming to her” is a part of their calculus.
Always trust your gut when you decide to try out online dating
After I was assaulted in May of this year, I sat down and asked myself if there had been warning signs. There were. But my mind was clouded by grief after losing my father. I was willing to give a guy who was frankly acting strangely a pass, because I was not in a great place myself; I craved understanding and sympathy, and was too willing to extend it to another human being. In other words, I was a little too generous and didn’t trust the gut instinct that was telling me that something was wrong!
Let’s go back to Chief Davis’ statement about Robinson: “He preys on the vulnerable.”
We become especially vulnerable when we are not thinking clearly. Take a breath before you meet that new person. Ask yourself how you really feel about them.
Robinson may have targeted women who felt especially lonely. One of his suspected victims, Cheyenne Brown, was said to be pregnant when she disappeared. Not only does this make this situation all of the more horrifying, it can also give us a clue as to what Cheyenne may have been thinking.
A new baby means you’re not going to have a big social life for a while — and Cheyenne may have jumped at the chance to hang out with a handsome man like Robinson.
Believe it or not, but pregnant women don’t stop being human. We all have our needs — not just sexual, but social. Robinson may have made Cheyenne feel extra special, and it’s not surprising that she fell for it, because we all want to be special.
Instead of blaming Cheyenne, as I’ve seen some people do online, we should mourn her and learn from what happened to her.
Lack of a criminal record doesn’t always mean a person is trustworthy
Robinson had no criminal past. Neither did the man who harmed me in May.
The thing about a predator like this is that he can be smart and meticulous. You can’t easily satisfy your murderous (or just sick and violent) urges if you’re on the cops’ radar. So what do you do? You can make sure to appear as outwardly harmless as possible. And it can really work! At least for a while.
This is why, again, meeting in public is always a great idea. As is trusting your instincts. And not ignoring red flags. And making sure that other people know where you are if you are going out with someone new. I can’t stress enough of how important this last bit is, but a lot of people don’t seem to realize it. We’re a more atomized society now, with many of us living on our own. But please, tell someone whom you’re going out with. And make sure that your date knows that you will be missed past a certain hour.
Most people are normal
As a writer I don’t like the word “normal,” but it can be helpful when dictating most of our dating experiences. Horror stories go viral for a reason — they’re entertaining! That doesn’t mean they are the norm.
Regular people can be disappointing. Most regular people won’t turn into the love of your life. But you can still have fun with them, if you choose.
Part of becoming happy, at least for me, is refusing to let a minority of ghouls dictate how I view my life and the world.
Another part of becoming happy is accepting a moderate amount of risk, because, well, leaving your home carries risks in general, ahaha.
A HUGE part of becoming happy — not to mention safer! — is learning from your experiences and from the experiences of the people around you.
I’m sure there will be much to learn from the Robinson case as more details emerge. For now, I can only hope that the families of his victims will find peace. And I hope we can all be glad that he is in custody.
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