Tattoos, revenge porn, travel & personal security
Let's talk about the safety and privacy implications of getting inked
After I recently got my first tattoo, a concerned friend immediately messaged me to let me know that I hope I donāt run into any mean Russians in my daily life.
The tattoo is on my forearm ā which is usually exposed during the warm, muggy months in the part of the United States were I reside ā and would be recognizable to most Russians and all Ukrainians: A stylized Ukrainian trident, or tryzub, with a sword running through it.
Iāve loved tattoo art for a long time, but my primary purpose in getting this tattoo was a sense of kinship and a need to display my support for my native country, Ukraine, as it beats back a genocidal Russian invasion. This was an important and exciting decision for me.
At the same time, I specialize in security, and therefore must be realistic. Much like our pictures on social media, tattoos give away a lot of information about us. We should always be cognizant of this.
Be aware of how easily you can be identified based on your tattoos
When I was moonlighting as a private investigator, I was once approached by a woman who was getting ready to file for divorce ā one of her main concerns was that her soon to be ex-husband may have filmed her naked body while she was sleeping, as āinsuranceā in case she wanted to leave him. He was not a nice guy.
One of the first things I asked her if she had any particularly unique tattoos, as he had claimed that if he were to make compromising footage of her, he would send it straight to her parents. She did have tattoos. Her no-good husband, meanwhile, believed that if her face wasnāt visible, she couldnāt do much about this from a legal standpoint.
If you find yourself in a similar situation and you are an American, as this woman was, please remember that:
Revenge porn is illegal. Yes, you can file a federal lawsuit in connection with it in the United States. Also, nearly all 50 states have some kind of revenge porn legislation on the books. It can be tricky to prosecute, but the important thing is, legislation is catching up to this issue.
If someone is disseminating nonconsensual images of you, it doesnāt matter if your face isnāt shown. If you can be identified, thatās a breach of your privacy.
There are a lot of scummy websites out there, some of which explicitly encourage nonconsensual pornography, and many of them are not hosted in the U.S. Yes, you can end up on one of them if you have a particularly twisted ex. The good news is, your parents are likely not looking at those (one can hope).
Iām not going to give you advice such as ādonāt ever make explicit content, you donāt know where itās going to end up.ā People make it all the time, people also get hacked all of the time, and people find themselves being filmed non-consensually all of the time as well.
As a society, we need to own up to this reality and stop making someoneās leaked nudes a big deal.
Furthermore, with deepfake technology now being what it is, almost anybody can make porn of anybody, without taking up a career in hacking.
And you know what the best solution here that is? Not caring. Not caring can shut a lot of blackmail down, believe me.
My position on this has been described as radical āĀ itās certainly not for everyone ā but I believe itās very practical.
These are the things I told my client with the tattoos. She did end up divorcing her husband. He never followed through on his threat.
Obviously, I just described a very extreme example of what can happen when you have distinct tattoos and your privacy is being invaded.
My job with this newsletter is to show you how badly things can go wrong sometimes, and then to show you how bad circumstances can be mitigated.
Your tattoos can take on a different meaning when you go abroad
Quick question, how do you spot a typical member of the U.S. military out in the wild? Well, thereās a chance heās going to be jacked and have distinctive tattoos. The haircut will likely be in regs. Heāll carry himself a certain way, with a particular kind of tension. He may have distinct accessories, including a distinct backpack. He may have distinct patterns of speech.
Iāve had guys tell me, āOh, I donāt ever have luggage or carryons that could identify me as a soldier when Iām traveling OCONUS.ā Thatās a good first step if youād like to fly under the radar, but any visible tattoos can still give you away very easily.
I used to live part time in Chania, Greece, not far from Souda Bay. Spotting U.S. servicemembers when they were busy buying ice cream or whatever became a favorite pastime. Oh, you have an 0331 tattoo peeking out from underneath your sleeve? I know who you are, Marine.
I do these things to keep my skills sharp. Other, unpleasant people may use this knowledge for ill.
Itās the same with distinctly American tattoos, where there is a lot of overlap for U.S. servicemembers. Youāre not going to get away with pretending youāre Canadian when encountering a hostile, anti-American person if youāre sporting stars and stripes.
Iām not asking you to be scared or paranoid. Iām asking you to be aware of how easily particular tattoos can make you stand out from the crowd and/or how they can trigger a bad reaction. Being aware of this is healthy and important.
Traveling through hostile territory? You may want to keep certain tattoos covered
When Russiaās war against Ukraine first kicked off, a friend who worked as a war correspondent was briefly detained by Russia-aligned forces. He felt lucky he was wearing long sleeves that day. He had a huge version of the tryzub, similar to my tattoo above, on his upper arm. Luckily, no one demanded he take his shirt off.
Today, Ukrainians have been tortured and killed for their distinctive, pro-Ukrainian tattoos. As Iāve said on Twitter, this is just one more reason why Russia must be driven out of Ukraine, never to return.
In the meantime, be aware that any tattoo that delineates a political or ideological stance can cause consternation in others, and worse.
A party full of belligerent Russians is my version of hostile territory. My friend, who was concerned about the possible repercussions of my tryzub tattoo, was right to voice her concerns.
Self-expression matters more to me than the opinions of terrible people, however. Iāve made a conscious decision.
This too is important. As adults, we should always be aware of the decisions we make.
Tattoos are easily misinterpreted
Sometimes, people who are not acting in good faith will deliberately pretend to misinterpret a tattoo they donāt like. This happened to me just days after I got my tryzub, as I detailed below:
The complaint against my tattoo was ridiculous, and Facebook wasnāt having it. For. once I can say, thanks, Facebook!
Still, I didnāt expect that attempts to get me into trouble with social media platforms would come so quickly.
Some people arenāt acting in bad faith, but still believe what they want to believe. Iāve had to explain that the tryzub is an ancient symbol that has existed long before Moscow was even a thing (Kyiv is more ancient than Moscow). You know what some people have said to that? āAncient symbol? Ha. Thatās exactly what they say about the swastika!ā
The point is, some people may not want to understand your methods or self-expression, and will ascribe terrible motives to you.
And thatās fine! Thatās just life.
Some men want women to be a blank canvas
Iām singling out men here, because while women may also bristle at tattoos, some of the worst vitriol directed at tattoo owners often comes from men.
This, however, can also help you weed out unsuitable matches.
I once had a guy who was looking to seriously date me. I knew we werenāt a good match when he said that he was very glad that I didnāt have tattoos, that this was a sign that Iām a ānice girl.ā I had no ink on me at the time, I didnāt even have plans to get any ink, but his statements betrayed a certain type of thinking that made me realize we werenāt compatible. I find people who fret over tattoos to be anxious about class, which is something I find exhausting. Itās a personal preference.
Tattoos themselves are similarly subjective. I like pieces that tell a story, but I also realize that we are all different. If someone thinks Iām unlikable because of a tattoo that means a lot to me, more power to them! Life is a rich tapestry, etc.
There are some stereotypes that come with any kind of ink, and I find people who buy into these stereotypes wholesale to be very different from me, itās an incompatible worldview. Incompatibility is normal, but abusive and condescending statements are not. If someone is being abusive toward you because of a tattoo, be glad! In most cases, thatās just the trash taking itself out.
Tattoos can be just for fun. They can also be an important tool of cultural/spiritual expression
The great-grandmother of one of my exes was said to have beautiful chin tattoos. She was a Jordanian woman. What people would label āedgyā in the United States was simply a part of her culture.
Body art has a history that goes back thousands of years. It also holds a major place in recent history.
For example, entire books have been written on Russian prison tattoos. Russian criminal culture, explored by such people such as my friend Mark Galeotti, is very big on tattoos (which is part of the reason why my mother, who was born in Russia, was shocked by mine haha).
In some cultures, you must earn your right to display a particular kind of tattoo. In other cultures, anything goes.
Remember to do what you love
The world is getting smaller. Surveillance is on the rise. Stalking is easier than ever.
People often say to me that after reading my work, they donāt want to post another picture of themselves online, ever. Maybe some of you, having read this essay, will say, āAnd now Iāll never get a tattoo. Even if I really want one.ā
These are valid choices. Personally, however, I believe there should be balance in life. Be aware of the world you are living in, but donāt let it rob you of joy. If a tattoo can bring you joy, then why not?
Remember, this newsletter is called āNatalia Mitigates the Apocalypseā for a reason.
Thank you, as always, for reading.